In the words of Nashville ‘A-list’ songwriters—Nicolle Galyon, Natalie Hemby, and superstar, Miranda Lambert—when did we become so “Automatic”? (Download song on iTunes here).
Let me throw out a few scenarios for you, and we’ll see where this goes….
Scenario #1–- You’re driving down a three-lane highway……you’re cruising….the few cars around you are cruising……life in the car is currently good. Then, our three-lane highway is suddenly turning into two lanes up ahead. You’re in the far right lane, so clearly you need to eventually merge into the lane on your left. As you signal with your left blinker and approach this merge, there’s a car coming up very quickly in that same lane. You hope the woman in that car is about to slow down to usher you into her lane, since obviously you have nowhere else to go. However, this is not the case–she slams her foot on the gas, speeds up just enough to block you out from merging in front of her, and gives you a nasty glare as she zips by.
Scenario #2– You’re in the grocery store parking lot. You’re driving the speed limit, slowly rolling over the speed bumps as you cruise down the main aisle in front of the store/shops. Up ahead you spot a young couple—two pedestrians who are walking from their car and continue walking towards the store, without the slightest glance at oncoming traffic. Of course pedestrians have the right of way, so everyone’s natural and polite instinct in a car should be to stop. While that sadly is not always the case with all drivers, on the flip side to that notion, as you do stop, smile and encourage this young couple with a wave to continue on, they glance at you for half a second giving you the ‘stank eye’ and then don’t hesitate but to continue across the road at the slowest pace possible, without a second turn of their heads to give you a smile, a nod, or a wave back.
Scenario #3–- You’re walking up to the post office and there’s a gentleman nearby who looks as if he’s headed in the same direction. You both seem like you’ll arrive at the front doors of the post office around the same time. ‘Maybe this nice gentleman will open the door for me once I get up there,’ you think to yourself. In fact, the opposite happens. Rather the gentleman hurries to get in front of you, opens the door for himself, and let’s it slam on you RIGHT as you’re standing inches away from it.
Okay people, I’d be hard pressed to guess that at least one of these scenarios, or something very similar, has not only happened to you several times, but is also something that you’ve been at fault of doing as well. And this goes for men and women, of all ages, alike. Sometimes we’re running late. Sometimes our minds might be a million miles away…or running in a thousand different directions. Sometimes we just plain don’t have the patience for whatever the reason may be. However, all of that being said, if you’ve ever been that car that was blocked out from a lane merge, or the driver who got a stank eye followed by zero acknowledgment after stopping for someone to cross the road, or the woman getting a door slammed in your face by a “gentleman,” then you know that none of those scenarios come without their share of annoyance, and that it says a lot about where our society is nowadays in terms of mindset and consideration for others.
When did we as a society become so saturated and self-involved to the point that we can’t show a little consideration or use manners towards another human being? I’ll admit, I’m just as much at fault in some of these situations like a lot of us are so please know this comes from a place of sheer curiosity on my end. When I would watch my grandparents and take cues from them growing up, my grandpa always opened the car door for my grandma. When I was riding in the car with them, they would always let other cars in when they needed to turn into the lane. When we’d cross a street together, they would always give a wave, flash a grin and mouth the words “thank you” to the oncoming car who stopped for them. So, what has gotten a bulk of our society today so wrapped up in this “entitled” way of thinking? My big guess would be social media and digital technology…which has ultimately led to an “On-Demand” kind of universe. We have so much available to us at the drop of a hat these days. We can now get a response from someone within two seconds if we want to reach them via text message. We can now order groceries and have them brought to our doorstep in less than an hour. We now have access to GPS, not only in most smart phones but also in many modern cars, instead of thumbing through a Thomas Brothers Guide to map out where we’re going. We can now find almost any information we want out there within seconds, instead of having to make a visit to our local library to dig for it in a book. With all of the advantages and positive advancements technology has brought us (how else would I be able to communicate this post to you all right now without it?), it seems it has also had a damaging impact on us socially, as well. When something is readily available to you at all times…when we can get anything, anywhere, at anytime—at our personal convenience, it seems a sense of entitlement tends to follow and therefore leads to a lack of appreciation, patience, and sometimes sheer human decency within certain scenarios. When I can find almost anything in the world on Amazon.com and have it delivered to my front door a few hours later, then why should I have to wait in such a long line in person at a store? If they want my business, they should figure out a way to help me as the customer and quicken up the way they work, right?! Well, not always the case. A.) Depending on the store, they may be suffering because so many things are available online now and thus, they may not have as much staff employed simply because they can’t afford it….And…..B.) Just because we have so much readily available to us doesn’t mean we should entitle ourselves to not act considerate towards others, be polite, be patient or be respectful when it would otherwise be a perfect situation for it. As I mentioned earlier, again, I am just as much at fault as the rest of us to sometimes getting caught up in riding that self-involved train in my day to day motions, but the more I experience being the car that got blocked from a lane merge, or the young woman having a door slammed in her face, I find myself to be much more aware of these things when I come across someone who brings back the ‘good ole days’ kind of charm—the manners, the politeness, the consideration, the patience, the respect, and THE AWARENESS, which causes me to be more aware of how I treat others or view things. Being aware is huge, people. Sometimes I’ll be out with a group of peers catching up over drinks or a meal, and I’ll catch us all looking at our cell phones—checking social media, checking messages, emails, and so forth—and I start to laugh and point out how crazy it is! Here we are, a group of friends all gathered together to have some social time with one another, and our faces are lost in our smart phones! I think if we’re aware of what we are doing, it ropes us back into the situation and we realize it might be more respectful, or kind, or considerate, to be aware and present! I always try to remind myself that you don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life at the moment…where they’re at personally, emotionally, mentally, physically—so try to treat them with kindness and respect. It all starts with us, as human beings, in our mindset, attitude, and the way we treat people.