Well, I know the title of today’s write up might throw you for a loop but I mean it in the most innocent sense….women who are on top….okay, now I’m throwing soft balls, I’ll stop there. But crass humor aside, in all seriousness, how awesome is it to revel in a woman’s strength?! Men, don’t feel neglected…we love you too, and I will get to your goodness soon, but for now, let’s talk about women. There’s a beauty and what I think is a special bond connecting my girlfriends and I, not just in the commonalities we share with one another but even more so in the differences we carry through our own individual experiences and strengths. I have friends who are stay at home moms….I have friends that are working moms with kids….I have friends that are single working moms with kids….and I have friends that love everyone’s kids but wouldn’t dream of having their own and are thriving in the workplace…and probably their sex life too because of it ;-). This means that each and every one of us has our own unique goals…sometimes our goals may be similar to one another’s, but its our personal experiences that somehow connect us together on a more cosmic, universal level; they allow us to cheer each other on in our life endeavors (whatever they may be) while also setting us apart enough to be our own beautiful, mystifying creatures.
I think for starters, there’s the inherent sense of the fact that we as women have always had a little tougher ‘go’ at things than men historically have. That’s not speculation…that’s just fact. Women have been deprived a voice, women have been deprived a vote. Until recently…before we started hearing the term “stay-at home-dad” tossed around, women have carried the stigma of being the homemaker, caretaker, and child-bearer, whilst men have been known as the bread makers. And while there’s nothing wrong with any of those things (don’t worry, Guys…we know you can’t be the child-bearer ;-))…it’s been such a blatant stereotype alleged on women for so long, that as many crawl their way through current times to change that stigma, it continues to be an “issue” (I dare call it) that we still deal with in today’s current society. Women now more than ever are fighting to make a claim that we too can be treated as equals in this society….and I’ll tell you what else seems to help this claim come to life other than exuding total confidence and dedication to your goals….you all probably think I’m going to say its because us women stick together…and there’s no doubt about it that there’s an electricity in a connectedness of that magnitude, but I’m not just talking about that….I’m talking about men…..see Guys…I told you I’d bring you back into the conversation on a positive note. We change this world by supporting EACH OTHER—that means MEN AND WOMEN ALIKE. It all comes down to surrounding yourself around the people that care about you, believe in you, and support you…no matter what their sex. Many of my colleagues that I work alongside on a day to day basis in the music business are women…my accountants, music video directors I’ve worked with, photographers I’ve worked with, management, creative, stylists….the list goes on. But I also work with some brilliantly, talented men…producers I’ve worked with, musicians, agents, hair and makeup, and again, the list goes on. I guess what I’m trying to say is that when it comes down to it, folks, if we want to change stigmas or stereotypes, we need to start by supporting each other…fully…both sexes aligned. What I can offer you out of my own personal experience in an area that’s been deemed difficult for women to be recognized in the same regard as men, is in the world of country music and radio. Time and time again I hear country music executives, radio folks, and tastemakers often say—“it’s SO hard and almost impossible for women to break through in country music.” Authors Charles K. Wolfe and James E. Akenson described in their novel, The Women of Country Music, “country music is often regarded as masculine, aggressive, and old-fashioned. A genre that belongs more to hard-drinking, hard-living men than anyone else.” They go on to say, “It hasn’t been an easy journey for female country musicians, who have faced the same—and sometimes more difficult—inequalities as women in other fields.” However they make the point that, “female artists have always been important to the success of country music; their contributions range from safe and traditional, like Tammy Wynette’s ‘Stand by Your Man,’ to cutting edge and controversial, such as the Dixie Chicks ‘Goodbye Earl’.” It seems to have always been this way, as this is a ‘man’s world,’ but even more so in current times. Maybe its due to a drop in record sales, saying that the radio slots are few and far between to put females into rotation, but then what does that say about the overall diversity in the country music industry? Sure there are some radio stations out there on FM and XM that aren’t shy about supporting female country artists and I think that’s awesome; wouldn’t it be nice if everyone jumped on board that train? Furthermore, one could argue there’s not enough diversity in females’ body of works to tell them apart from one another at times, but hanging up my artist hat for a minute and speaking PURLEY from the standpoint of a country music fan who listens to country music radio, I feel the SAME way sometimes about the guys I hear over airplay, and yet they’re getting constant heavy rotation, while I’m barely hearing artists such as Brandy Clark, Sheryl Crow, and Ashley Monroe—all women who have a mighty distinct sound and voices, to me….and not to mention some Grammy nods to go along with them. It is what it is currently, and the ‘silver lining’ in all of this—two of my FAVORITE words—is the fact that such a challenge, like many other women deal with in their own everyday scenarios in the workplace or at home, is that we are left with a decision to give up and accept the pushback…or…it can ignite in us a spark to make us work that much harder, be that much more dedicated, and truly be the best that we can be whilst knowing at the end of the day “we are enough….YOU are enough.” This is a notion I try to live by and use in my home life, everyday life interactions, and career. The one thing I find that can make a woman seem larger-than-life is when I see her strength, honesty, vulnerability, durability and vigor. I remember driving down Highway 100 last summer in Nashville. It was early morning and I was headed to get a hike in before my co-write, when Garth Brooks came on The Highway on Sirius XM for Storme Warren’s morning show. Storme was on there to chat with him about his new album, his tour dates, his love for Justin Timberlake, and unprompted, Garth came out and started talking about Trisha Yearwood & what a shame it is that women overall in the country music world are not getting fair amounts of radio time. He didn’t have to say that…yes, Trisha is his wife, and one of my FAVORITES…but he’s GARTH BROOKS. The fact that a big male voice and presence like that was putting that sound blast out into the world is amazing. If women are doing something great in their field or home life, or doing something right, or doing something above and beyond, then they should be rewarded or recognized in the same regard a man should. And don’t get me wrong—if your best isn’t being brought to the table, then why would you expect someone to recognize you/reward you? But if it is, then let’s recognize it…no matter your sex. WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER in all aspects of life….that’s how we make a change. Yes, you’ll see me from time to time hashtagging #GirlPower or #FemalesRock…or things of that nature but that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate every man in my life that believes in me, supports me and pushes me to be a better human being….not because I’m a WOMAN, but because they genuinely believe in my strengths, talents, and abilities…its on me to self-reflect over the set backs, failures, and wrongdoings I’ve experienced in my life, but it’s also on me to figure out how to overcome these hurdles, work hard at taking the bull by the horns, and pat myself on the back from time to time with my triumphs—I think when we do that, others will recognize those triumphs as well….take this read with a grain of salt, people…I’m no expert…just felt like saying…..